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Babymamahood is a mother and daughter led project, founded on the ancestral science of our abuelitas y elders. It is a living space where we share how we thrive in Babylon (the hood) . We honor all the elemental forces that have allowed us to learn this very simple healing practice and we thank all our ancestors and relations who continue to bless and support this work. Our goal is to inspire and to help sustain the lives of mamas and babies everywhere.

Based in Oakland, CA.

Zion and Juju create potions to love on sadness and recovery. 


Would I Be A Babymama Again?

 Zi & I first selfie

Zi & I first selfie

A while ago I was in a cab with Zi & we were conversing about things you converse with a cabbie—life. Anyway, in the midst of our conversations he asked me, “Would you have more children?” 

As a mom, I am frequently asked if I just have one child. This is a question I toy with for several reasons. One, Zi asks me for siblings all of the time. Two, I think about my child being the youngest in the house full of adults—it must have its moments of loneliness. & three, my eggs wont last forever.

When I told the driver wholeheartedly, “Yes, I would have more children.” He assumed that I was in a relationship with Zi’s sperm donor. He thought that it was great that I was in a great relationship & that I hadn’t turned bitter.

I didn't correct him because I was at my destination & I didn’t feel the need to. However, his question really stuck with me because I felt like it spoke to my character. The truth is that my body wants more children—I still ovulate, but right now, it wouldn’t be a sound decision with the whole I just started a new job & I am looking for a home while my baby is still in NY type shit.

But, I still wonder, would I choose this path again. Would I be a babymama again to someone else? 

No matter if you are married or in a committed relationship, I think all sexual beings should consider being single parents. Life happens, people die, change their minds, get sick, lose employment, or are parentally challenged. I am not saying that you shouldn’t ask for help, but nothing is guaranteed & I know that I have more tricks up my sleeve than a mom who has a husband, a nanny, or a babysitter. I have to learn how to juggle working & still being present for my child. Cook, clean, doctor, & all of the many things it takes to be a mama. I had to learn how to ask for help too! I learned a lot of it from watching my mama, who did not only raised us alone & poor, but was also disabled. I had to be her legs & eyes & I grew up pretty fast because I am her first born.

I get really upset when I read things like, I wouldn’t wish single parenthood on anyone. Shit, I would. Babymamahood isn’t a death sentence. It isn’t shameful. Being a bad parent is. But choosing to honor life with life isn’t. I know so many of my friends who have sound careers, are great sisters, & staples in their community, who are reaching their forties, & come home to no one, every night. 

I think we need to get over the idea that we need a man to help us raise our children. In actuality, you don’t need A man. You need a village, a series of men who are willing to be present for mentorship & sharing their resources. That child also need a series of women to help do the same. I don’t get mad when my daughter calls other women mami. She needs as many in her corner as she can get. 

Would I choose to be a babymama again, yes. Am I ready right now, No. Was I ready when I had Zi, maybe… Let me get my money up, I will have a whole tribe of kids. Why? Because I am pretty damn good at being a mama. I owe a lot of that to God, my mama, & to the many friends along the way that have held our hands & our hearts. 

The next post I want to write is why am unmarried in the first place & why I may always be.

UPDATE: FROM NY TO OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA

Does Almost Count? Transitioning to the West Coast Without My Daughter

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